Photo courtesy disgustipado
Editors Note: This is a guest post from Cory Huff. Cory is an actor, director, sales manager and the author of AGoodHusband.net, a marriage advice blog for men.
Marriage is a wonderful thing. I’m happier now, after almost six years of marriage, than I have ever been in my life. I’m so grateful to my sweet wife for all of her kindness and patience. We made things way too hard when we first started our marriage. Here’s what I would recommend to simplify your marriage.
Lower Your Expectations
What’s that you say? What kind of advice is that? It’s sound doctrine, my brothers and sisters. When you’re first in love it’s easy to put your spouse on a pedestal and fail to see their faults. After being together for a while the veneer can rub thin. This isn’t a bad thing, it just means that you see the human in your wife and you love her even more.
Stop Fixing, Start Listening
This was probably the toughest thing that I had to learn as a newly married man. Most women are strong, smart, capable human beings and they appreciate being seen that way. Usually when my wife approaches me with an issue of some sort it’s because she wants me to listen to her, show that I care, and give her a little bit of encouragement. When I start telling her how to fix it she gets annoyed. We have a catchphrase for this situation – “I’m sorry honey, that sucks!”
Put her first – always
Your wife is with you more than anyone else. She is or will be the mother of your children. Plan on being married for a long time. In order to make this easier on yourself, whenever you have a choice between doing X, Y, Z or making your wife happy, choose your wife. If you feel like that is taking time away from your family or your social life, talk with your wife and set up boundaries you are both okay with.
Be Fiercely Loyal
Similar to the previous idea, but different in that if someone disparages her, defend her! Never, ever speak ill of your wife, and always back her up when it comes to raising children, interacting with family, or buying groceries.
You love her, right? Show her. Duh. Find out what she likes and do the things that she likes, not the things that you think she might like. Since people change over the years, pay attention to her changing tastes.
Make Her Laugh
You probably made her laugh when you were dating, right? You’d do anything for her then, right? Why not now? It’s been too long and you’ve forgotten how? Even better! She’ll be delighted once she figures out what you’re doing. Stand on your head, learn to juggle, find her ticklish spot, do something that helps her relieve stress and she’ll look upon you with a new found respect that you never knew was possible.