Have you ever gone a day without kissing your spouse? How about a week? A month?
What about holding hands or even hugging?
We live in a busy world.
Jobs, kids, bills, hobbies, and so forth can all easily eat up our time. Often this leaves us with very little time to think about, let alone actually touch, our significant other.
When we we’re first married, my great uncle (who has been married for over 50 years) told us to end every day by telling each other, “I love you”. This is supposed to be followed by a kiss and hug.
As the husband, I feel it my responsibility to initiate the nightly tradition. I admit, I haven’t been perfect.
Touching is Vital
Remember when you were first dating? If you’re like me, it sent jolts of electricity through you just to hold hands. Remember your first kiss? Good stuff!
Then somewhere along the way, the hand holding, the kissing, even the sex sometimes loses its appeal. But why?
Many times it’s because we let the everyday things become more important than the good stuff like touching the one we love. Touching is an important and vital part of any marriage. This doesn’t always mean sex either.
By being mindful and taking the time to touch our partners, we’re physically and emotionally demonstrating that they’re a priority to us. We’re connecting in a way that says, “Hey, you’re a priority to me and right now. There is nothing more important than you.”
On another level, we know that human touch is a physiological need we all have. It’s more than just something we do while dating, it’s an actual need we have. I hesitate to say this but if we aren’t the ones touching our partner, then who is?
I’m not suggesting that we always have to be touching. There are certainly times when we just don’t want to be touched. Also, how much you actually touch each other is up to each couple and the preferences of both partners.
The overall point is simply to remember to touch more. With that in mind, here are some key times throughout the day when touching might be appropriate.
Remember to Touch When…
Saying Goodbye – Do you kiss and hug when you leave for the day? Even if it’s just a simple peck on the cheek, taking the time as you’re on your way out the door can mean a lot.
Saying Hello – Do you kiss and hug when you get home from a long day? How about when you wake up in the morning and see each other after a long night’s sleep? Touching is a perfect way to greet each other.
Lounging Around – Do you touch when you’re reading a book or watching TV? Does your furniture allow you to be close or are you sectioned off in your own loungers? For some couples, being able to snuggle or touch legs or arms during a movie is the perfect way to get in that daily touch.
Before Going to Sleep – Everyone has their own habits before going to sleep. Some couples don’t like to touch when falling asleep. Others like to spoon. Whatever you do, a simple touch or quick kiss is a great way to start your slumber regardless of how close you like to sleep next to each other.
Spontaneously Throughout the Day – When passing each other throughout the day, try taking a minute to embrace in a long hug. It instantly stops everything else and helps you focus on each other.
In the end, taking the time to consciously touch your spouse is a way to be 100% present in your relationship. It strengthens your marriage. It increases your happiness.
How much and when do you touch in your marriage?