Let’s pretend that you’ve got a hot date with your spouse coming up.
Let’s also pretend that you’re taking a turn planning the date and you really want to make it special. So, what’s the best possible way you can think of to make sure you have the best possible time on your date?
Do your partner’s favorite thing often.
I didn’t come up with that myself. It was wise counsel that my wife and I heard when we were first married. As the years have happily rolled on by, it still stands as the best way I know of to date and keep the romance alive.
So what does doing your partner’s favorite thing often even mean?
First, think about what your spouse absolutely loves to do. Like if everything was taken care of – house, kids, job, etc. What would you find your spouse wanting to do? It could be dance, art, photography, movies, reading, sports, and so on.
Next, think about if it’s something you can do in an evening (or perhaps it’s a day date). If you can, then that’s the next step – make all of the arrangements.
For example, if your spouse has a penchant for extreme sports, perhaps you need to make plans with a skydiving company or a land luge facility. Perhaps it’s sampling a new ethnic cuisine so you’ll need to make reservations at a nice restaurant.
The next step is to decide whether or not you’re going to tell your spouse about it or not. This is up to you and how you think your partner will react. I love surprises myself. Even more so if it involves something I love doing – which is exactly the point.
Finally, make any last minute preparations for the date and enjoy the ride!
How to make it even more meaningful
One of the best ways to make this exercise in marital dating even more impactful is to figure out how they experience the world and do more of it. For example, is your spouse an audio person? Perhaps a night at the opera or a new band in a local club might be in order. Maybe he or she is a very kinesthetic kind of person. In that case, a night of dancing or some kind of sport might be best.
By learning how your spouse experiences the world, you can then tailor the date to doing exactly what they enjoy the best.
But isn’t this self-sacrificing?
About now, you’re probably thinking this is all very nice but isn’t it all a little too self-sacrificing? After all, shouldn’t you be able to enjoy your date too? What if she loves dog shows and you can’t stand them? What if all he wants to do is watch the ball game at the local sports grill?
First of all, in most cases, your partner is going to be sensitive to the fact that you’re making a strong effort to help them enjoy a date with you. This is going to carry with it, lasting implications. More love, more romance, and more appreciation for you will all be part of it.
Also, you don’t have to do something you don’t like. You’re the one that set up the date right? Do something you know he or she will enjoy and that you can enjoy also.
Another thing to consider is that your spouse is going to love what you did for them and want to return the favor. I know when I took dance lessons with my wife (her favorite thing to do), she was more inclined to put scuba gear on and get in the water with me (one of my favorite things to do).
Here’s the big kicker
This suggestion, to do your partners favorite thing often, goes both ways. As they say, marriage is not 50/50. It’s 100/100. As you both put forth your best effort, you’ll find it will be reflected back in future dates.
One of the biggest benefits to dating with your partner’s favorite thing in mind is that you get to see your spouse in an environment they love. This increases the positive vibes of the date and you’ll come home with a stronger relationship than when you left.
What’s one of your spouses favorite things to do?
How can you make a special date out of it?